My boss doesn't understand me

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Gavin Patterson was the charismatic CEO who brought consumer marketing flair to British Telecom. Appointed in 2013, he launched BT Sport taking market share from Sky Sports, acquired mobile giant EE and modernised the brand, making the telecoms giant more relevant in the eyes of the public.

But despite those high profile wins over 5 years, Patterson’s tenure ended abruptly.

The BT board just lost confidence over issues like shareholder returns, operational execution and regulatory wrangling. His consumer-focused leadership style began to feel misaligned with a board that increasingly prioritised cost control and infrastructure delivery.

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Even successful, high-performing leaders must take care in managing upwards. When boardroom alignment slips, when stakeholders’ confidence dips, you can find yourself cut adrift without support or worse fired.

Less is more

This is a guiding principle of my coaching.

It’s about leaders creating the conditions for their teams to deliver excellence by prioritising those activities that have the biggest impact on results.

Clients who have consistently applied this principle have achieved: Higher Productivity; Faster growth ; Higher engagement and better work/life balance.

This means focusing on:

1. Your Team

2. Your Boss and Senior Stakeholders

3. Your Personal Effectiveness

This is Part 2 of a 3 part Leadership Guide to achieving exceptional results using this approach. We focused on Your Team in Part 1 of this guide

Part 2 - Your Boss and Senior Stakeholders

Your relationship with your boss - whether they are a Chair, Founder, CEO or other Senior Executive - can make or break your ability to lead. Managing upwards isn’t about playing politics. It’s about:

• Understanding your boss and stakeholders’ priorities

• Adapting your communication style

• Aligning your contributions with what they care about most

When these relationships break down, the cost isn’t just personal. It can shatter trust and confidence across teams, whole organisations and seriously damage results.

When You Feel Misunderstood, Get Curious

We’ve all had moments when we think: "My boss just doesn’t get me." Your ideas land flat, your priorities get sidelined, and you feel invisible.

But what if instead of getting frustrated, you got curious?

Curiosity can be a leadership superpower. It turns reactive energy into influence. Instead of asking, "Why don't they understand me?" you ask:

• What matters most to them right now?

• How do they define success?

• What pressures are shaping their decisions?

That’s where managing upwards begins.

Back to British Telecom: What could have gone differently ?

The story of the British Telecom CEO is not unique .

Here are some other high profile examples where talented leaders have recently fallen foul of their stakeholders with serious consequences.

Stellantis - Dispute Over Pace of Strategic Realignment

In December 2024, Carlos Tavares stepped down as CEO of Stellantis due to significant disagreements with the board over the company's electrification strategy. Tavares advocated for an aggressive push towards electric vehicles, while the board preferred a more flexible approach to maintain plant operations and profit margins. This misalignment on strategic priorities led to Tavares' departure.

Ben & Jerry - Clash of Values

In March 2025, Ben & Jerry's accused its parent company, Unilever, of ousting CEO David Stever in retaliation for the brand's political activism. The ice cream maker alleged that Unilever's actions violated their merger agreement, which granted Ben & Jerry's an independent board with authority over its social mission. This conflict highlights the challenges that arise when a subsidiary's social policies diverge from the parent company's strategic objectives.

Unilever - Focus on the Wrong Metrics

In early 2025, Unilever's board decided to replace CEO Hein Schumacher after only 18 months in the role. Despite improvements in operating profit and cash flow under his leadership, the board sought a leader capable of executing the company's strategy at a faster pace. This decision underscores the importance of aligning leadership approaches with board expectations about priorities and the speed of strategic execution.

How to Manage Upwards With Curiosity

If I was to interview these three CEOs, I suspect they would all say their bosses didn’t really understand them. As their coach, my challenge to them would be:

Here is a practical framework to help you do that.

 3Cs FRAMEWORK FOR MANAGING UPWARDS

This was Part 2 of “ How leaders can create the conditions to achieve exceptional results”. The focus here was on “Managing Upwards ”

I hope you found it useful.

Part 3 is about focusing on your “Personal Presence and Effectiveness”. Watch out for that in your inbox.

In the meantime, please forward this Newsletter to colleagues or associates who you think would be interested in the ideas I have been sharing here.

‘Til next time.

John

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